Posted from The Citrus Report

Hmm, you thirsty, girl? Its toxic, don’t fucking touch it. That is what the new book, Drink This, Not That! is teaching us all. According to Yahoo, “Liquid calories now account for a whopping 21 percent of the average American’s daily intake—more than 400 calories every single day, which is twice as much as we drank 30 years ago and about 40 pounds a year that we have to figure out how to work off, or live with.”

Here are the things you must avoid:

1) Anything drinkable/milkshake-ish at Baskin Robbins. You might as well eat a jar of fat and tears.

2) Milk. A hormone they give to cows is known to cause cancer. Thanks for those kid cereal commercials, General Mills. Assholes.

3) Lattes. The average latte is worse than a double-scoop ice cream cone. Fuck, we are drinking one now. Dead, that is what we are, dead and done.

4) 7-Up. It takes a centrifuge to produce its “all natural” soda. If you ever believed 7-Up was all natural, you are a moron. We won’t even bother with soda talk.

5) Soda in general. Some aluminum cans are lined with a toxic plastic. Again, soda TASTES TOXIC without knowing its toxic, therefore it is toxic.

and 6) Juice. Guess what, most juice is not 100% juice. It isn’t really anything but 100% lies. (Grandma jokes, hey-yo!). Its a mix of sugar, sweetened water, hate, anger, and a drop of whatever juice you were trying to buy.

You know what this calls for?

Posted By The Citrus Report